OK, so I've been slack. I only sent out Christmas cards this past month...and now I can post the letter that went with them!Dear Loyal Subjects
Happy New Year! We hope that this letter finds you all well. We do apologise to all for the tardiness of Our correspondence. We throw Our hands up in the air – ever since We were usurped (story to follow), standards at the Royal Palace have fallen. In any case, Our very best wishes for 2008 – We're hoping that it surpasses this past year for you and your family.
Since Our last Christmas message, the kingdom has been thrown into turmoil. There has been uproar in the Royal Palace with the grandstanding of a new pretender to the throne. While visiting the colonies there was a coup in the Royal Palace. Servants #1 and #2, the devilish traitors, breached the defences of the inner sanctum of the Royal Court and presented HRH2 on the throne as a fait accompli. We felt like no more than a commoner with a 9 month layoff notice. Note to Self: We shall have to investigate the intricacies of the “heir” system to ensure Our continued reign.
But We digress. Having been a mature toddler for a year now, We converse with everyone and anyone “in full sentences, with manners and in a normal voice” - or Servant #1 gets quite upset. The latest fads in the Royal Palace involve princesses, pink, lipgloss and highheels, much to Servant #1's distress. We love to sing and dance and can't wait for 6.30pm each day when Servant #2 comes home to play with Us – and all Our “beautiful toys for you”. Whilst it is true that handbags and lip gloss were de rigeur accoutrements for all outings, Royal Protocol has developed to also include jewelery, high heels and underpants. Yes, the Royal Throne has been graced many times this past year, and in spite of a “withholding” hiccup recently, We seem to be well on the way to being nappy-free by three. Our Royal stamp of approval is now required for all attire – more recently requiring the donning of a “beautiful gown” and “red, sparkly Dorothy shoes” regardless of the prevailing weather - for One must be attired appropriately for One's station in life – after all, One cannot help being the Queen.
We believe that We shall be attending school once We attain the age of three, although Servant #1 is unsure as to whether this may be delayed as the Kingdom is considering moving its capital. We have been restless with excitement for some time at the thought of attending a continental finishing school for young ladies and are somewhat placated by the formally established starting schedule. Perhaps more importantly, We would love to catch one of those yellow American school buses and going to school would do just the trick.
We have decided that naps are overrated and that Our time would be better spent testing the loyalty of Servant #1. Servant #1 still insists One needs to spend time in One's room for security. From whom One wonders? It is truly unfortunate that Servant #1 is in despair about this development, however We have attained an age where afternoon solitude is simply no longer necessary.
We continue to purvey the local social scene. We attend many social events each week including three playgroups where We see Our many friends. Thankfully the arrival of HRH2 did not require that Servant #1 become delinquent in these outings that are necessary to relieve the tedium of the Royal Palace. With the arrival of HRH2, One has been required to share One's Royal Bedchamber – which ocated in the danger seat,
Servant #1 has continued in her Community Aide position in Family and Graduate Housing, also adding Space Manager to her portfolio of positions – We are quite unhappy with Servant #1's evening meeting attendances and One doesn't see why One shouldn't be allowed to attend Oneself. Although We continue to reign over the office, We have had to compete with several other babies who were born this past year, not the least being HRH2. We do still condescend to patronise said establishment in spite of this.
Our time spent with Servant #2 continues to be a Saturday, with Our supervision of the laundry and also swimming – not at the same time. Last year this time provided Servant #1 some “me” time, however HRH2 has also usurped this time and it now merely provides some “one-on-one” quality time ocated in the danger seat, or so One believes. One has really enjoyed spending some quality outdoor time with Servant #2, going hiking and camping earlier in the year. This past season has also seen Us become somewhat of a patron for Servant #2's soccer team. Often We assist the coach from the sidelines shouting “Run daddy!” or “Watch out!” and generally shouting out whatever the teammates shout from the sideline.
Servant #2 continues in his studies and assures Us that this year will find him graduating. Accordingly, he is on the job market and undertaking interviews in January at several institutions around the world. He informs Us that We will know where We will reside after March. We will keep Our constituents appropriately informed.
This past year saw Us journey to the southern colonies to attend a wedding in April. We were suitably attired in a “beautiful gown” and preceded the bride down the aisle, as befits a person of Our station. We also welcomed several visitors from the southern colonies this fall, including Grandparents #1 and #2, ostensibly to visit HRH2, but One knows better. Having been introduced to jelly beans the last time We were in the colonies, We made our acquaintance with Ben & Jerry's this time, and even had a tub brought by Santa for Us. One was also delighted to receive delivery of a new Royal Carriage that allows both HRH2 and Oneself to travel in style. One was quite upset to learn that One would initially no longer be travelling in the style to which One had become accustomed. This new conveyance allows One, as befits One's station, to recline in the rear whilst HRH2 is in coach. This also allows HRH2 to be located in the danger seat, in case of a vehicular misunderstanding. We truly enjoyed having Our visitors and were sad to see them leave. Unfortunately We will not be undertaking a visit to the southern colonies until the end of 2008 – however One does deem it necessary to visit in late 2008 in order to ensure the continuing adoration of One's subjects.
We know all about Christmas, having skated with Santa Claus and also seen him at various events around town. We know about making good choices and We were interested to know that Servant #1 had an interview with him just before Christmas. We are sure in Ourselves that We have made good choices – mostly. It also didn't take Us long to figure out Halloween, running quickly from the very first house We “trick or treated” at to the next, and then the next. One was quite upset to be required to return home after attending a mere 2 streets worth of houses and next year One will insist on attending to the rest – after all, it is only fair.
One has received for One's birthday a Royal Trike “Britannia” that One most enjoys riding around the Royal Palace's grounds. At first it was a real trial for One to get over any small encumbrance (such as cracks in the pavement), however now One rides well and has worked out that One can steer as well. These modern conveyances are quite appealing. Next season One will require Servant #1 to allow One to drive the Royal Stationwagon.
It behooves Us to mention a couple of the more salacious stories about the young Usurper, appropriately sanitised as Royal Protocol demands:ocated in the danger seat, ocated in the danger seat, ocated in the danger seat, ocated in the danger seat, ocated in the danger seat, ocated in the danger seat, ocated in the danger seat, ocated in the danger seat, ocated in the danger seat, although One does find this hard to believe.
Wishing you a festive season and a new year filled with opportunity – oh, and a Happy Valentine's Day!
HRH Alexandra
Having made use of such modern devices as the internet to talk with the colonies, One has taken it upon Oneself to instruct servant #1 to devise a blog for those subjects interested in maintaining a year-round observation of the Royal Household.
http://www.nevingrahamfamily.blogspot.com/
One has also recently discovered the delights of e-mail – how novel – and One may be contacted at (refer Servant #1 for address)
HRH Alexandra
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